You can have a better tomorrow. Many women who are lonely have just given up too soon in trying to find a partner. The man you're hoping for could be within five blocks, three towns away, in another state, or in another country. You might meet him in a few days or it might take months. It shouldn't take years but it honestly could. The man you're hoping for might have lived in another era, or may not yet be born.
Perhaps you almost met the man you're hoping for at a friend's party but instead you played it shy. Maybe you flicked your hair meaningfully but he didn't catch it. Maybe he wandered into the kitchen looking for ice, then walked out onto the back porch to look at the moon, only the moon was so big he decided to walk in the woods out back, with the sound of crickets and night birds telling him everything is going to be alright, everything. Maybe he's still walking. Or he got lost and starved, now carrion birds are picking his bones clean. I'm not saying the man you were hoping for was a survivalist. I think he'd had a bit to drink, too.
Maybe you actually met the man you're hoping for only he wasn't hoping for you. Maybe he even briefly thought he was hoping for you the same, but actually, no, he was hoping for his new fiance, queen of last week's Vows in the Times, who has bigger boobs, more Times-worthy parents, and actually holds his interest.
But don't worry about before. What's done is done. Seriously, if you could change three things about the past, what would it be? Bullshit aside. Asking as a friend. Obsess over the past. Those who don't must surely relive it, etc. Your romantic past is pure gold. Seriously. Forever.
I opened a fortune cookie a few months ago, when some things weren't going too well on a number of fronts. The little paper inside was perfectly blank and I started to cry. I knew then that the universe had little of note in store for me. That I would live out the rest of my days without much meaning. This will be my last column for Cupid's Bow.
Listen: Find a man you can tolerate physically, the smartest one you can find, but don't be too picky on either count. Find him at a moment of relative weakness (e.g. during a transition in his career, or after he has just been dumped). Find that man, confuse the shit out of him, and mold him into the man you were hoping for. Move on, I mean it, you're too stubborn, get to bed, hon.
(Elora up late reading online romantic advice gives up, stubs out cigarette.)
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