replacements

The other night I received my four year sobriety coin. I was smiling, and I told my home group that while I first thought I could do this by myself, I knew now that that was wrong. I wasn't just saying shit I thought they wanted to hear. It was also what I really felt, or at least wanted to be truly what I did feel. In 2009 I knew I needed to stop drinking--the warning signs were myriad, bright and garish-but I was naive about what it would mean to go without medication I'd relied on for my entire adult life. The question for me has been about replacements. When I make progress it's because I'm being conscious about replacing alcohol with things that are actually good for a person: exercise, therapy, meditation, acupuncture, music, literature, being there for my family of choice and my family of origin, connecting with new friends and reconnecting with my old ones, seeking to reconnect with my sense of creativity, purpose, and destiny. When I falter it's by passive aggressively embracing death, isolating, hiding, falling into fear of a past I've never outrun, by overeating, by misgauging and poorly modulating my emotional, spiritual, and professional responsibilities on any given day, by looking at smoking as a solid alternative. In any moment I have a choice about which route to take, about which tendency to feed and push along. And if I sought your advice on the subject, which would you suggest.