mental blocks

Everyone who does this sort of thing must go through these mental blocks. For me it starts with the fact that I'm 50 pounds overweight and I've only jogged once in the last decade. Right now it's midnight and it's raining and chilly out and the economy sucks and I'm on my last shred of energy, but preparations must go on if I am going to run this marathon.

I can't find my sneakers. Also tonight I smoked a cigar with my father-in-law and I just ate a half a bag of cheese curls and yesterday I stubbed my toe pretty hard on the wall trying to turn a corner too fast to get to the fridge. Training for a marathon requires you to hone your reflexes. Razor sharp reflexes, or sharper if possible. Note to self to Google sharper reflexes.

Blogosphere, I'm getting nervous about this marathon. I know it because my reflexes are a little off. The other day I was washing a wine glass and I accidentally put my hand through the glass -- breaking it into about 5 pieces with just the joint of my left thumb. I don't want the bleeding to be a distraction, so I've got to keep a good supply of Band Aids at the ready if I'm going to run this marathon. Thumb removal might be a faster way to heal. Or sports medicine? I also know I'm nervous because when I'm nervous I eat and surf the web a lot. Mostly looking at boring shit that I hate. The more boring the more nervous I am.

But when you're running you aren't nervous (unless you're nervous you're going to keel over), you're an eagle, a gazelle, leopard, etc. You are everything Apple has ever named an operating system after. When you're running you become one with the landscape, with the wind, and in the rhythm of the wind (of the you) you can beat your demons.

My demons are pretty boisterous. One of them is wearing an Atlanta Falcons jersey. Another is dressed in a speedo and drinking Boone's Farm and I think he's the asshole who hid my running shoes. I could run in my dress shoes and that speedo and the old Falcons jersey. Determination. Fuck you, demons.

I'm not going to go running tonight, I'm going to go to sleep. As everyone who's ever run a marathon knows, you have to get a good night's sleep the night before. And eat a boatload of carbs first. Head start on that.