Taken: When a former CIA operative (Liam Neeson) mistakenly allows his hot-assed teenage daughter (Maggie Grace) to visit Paris, she is abducted by Albanian sex traffickers. If he is to prevent her virginity from being taken, he must kill every man in the city within 24 hours.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop: A mall is overtaken by a suburban gang, and it's up to a mild-mannered security guard (Kevin James) to kill them. When Blart is rendered paraplegic during a botched apprehension on an escalator, his family leads an advocacy campaign in support of euthanasia and his right to end his own life.
Under a Pile of Sailors: When a West Village dinner party exceeds all expectations, a young couple (Viggo Mortenson and Don Cheadle) move to central Jersey to save their relationship. New neighbors (Paul Giamatti and Marisa Tomei) recount their own Fleet Week experiences, and the four develop a shared appreciation of maritime history. A far-reaching inquiry into the nature of sublimation, set against a rolling sea of flashback sequences.
Curvas Peligrosas: A Mexican geometry teacher (a reinvigorated Cantinflas) finds himself transplanted to South Central Los Angeles, where he inspires his students using a novel method: tantric sex. Under his enigmatic tutelage (“Stand… and deliver” and “It’s like tic tac toe in circles”) they learn key lessons in math and life, until a grim school board chair (Iman) threatens all. The resultant appeal to the United Nations was filmed before the General Assembly.
Quest for the Yarmulke: After a sequence of prophetic dreams, a young Jew (the excellent newcomer Herman Rosenbluth, who also directs) drops out of law school and begins his search for the golden yarmulke that will usher in a new Messianic age. His worried parents (convincingly played by Rosenbluth’s own parents) give chase, following our hero across the American Midwest and as far as South Dakota, which he stubbornly refers throughout as “the New Israel.”
Bride Wars: Best friends (Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway) become rivals when they schedule their respective weddings on the same day. Recognizing the bitter futility of the American wedding ritual, they vow to kill themselves simultaneously on the internet, and will the proceeds toward eliminating child mortality from malaria in the developing world.
Facebook of Evil: After installing a mysterious application on her Facebook page, a young woman (Kirsten Dunst) is at first amused to notice a sequence of seemingly innocuous changes to her profile. When one by one her friends die under mysterious circumstances, she enlists the help of her hacker ex (a trim Wayne Davis), who may know more than he lets on.
